Duck Duck Cougar?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
