goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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