Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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