At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I believe in your delicious
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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