the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
