Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
