Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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