Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
