I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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