I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
