Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
