I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
