i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
