I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
