My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize