Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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