Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize