This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
