So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
