I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My hand turned me down
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
