; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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