So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
