Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize