Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
