I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
