Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
