Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
