If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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