Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
