I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
