You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
