No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
