maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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