Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize