At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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