I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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