I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
