i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
