So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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