Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
