i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
