Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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