I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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