dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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