I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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