i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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