Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
