Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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