Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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