I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
