Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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