lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
