So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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