So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
