i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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