can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I love you.
Bad choice
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