Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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