Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
