I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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