I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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