You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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