She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
