I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude i'm inner monologue high
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
