Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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