If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
