I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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