You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize